ROAM

 

Representations of Home Creative Journal

ROAM - Winter/Spring 2022 - ROAM 2

Felix Catus

Kaja Rakušček

I was about 8 at the time

I vividly remember watching the falling snow

through the window of the old car

that always slightly jumped when dad let go of the clutch

 

the gates to the zoo were rusty

cages were clean, almost sterile-looking

“felix catus” read the sign

the majesty left me in awe

 

it had features akin to cats that we had back home

but it was too big to be able to lay in your lap comfortably

and the creature didn't walk gracefully

it was jumpy like dad's car

 

I could sense wounded pride

and pain in its averted gaze

its mouth was open

with the tongue hanging low

 

I stayed the longest at that very cage

after a while I noticed that the creature walked the very exact same route

each time it circled the cage – like a train on the tracks

from afar, I could misinterpret it as an animatronic

but I was up close and saw the face disfigured from an emotion I did not yet understand

 

I am 23 now

I still remember the cage and the trapped animal like it was yesterday

dad bought a new car that doesn't jump when you let go of the clutch

and I wondered if the same happened to that fretful creature in that zoo

 

march came about

my room didn't come with train tracks

but there must have been some gravitational pull

that made me walk in identical circles

my blind gaze averted, my tongue nearly touching the floor

 

 

Kaja Rakušček

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